What really matters at the end of life (life & death discussion)

I was having this thought that I thought I would share with you which is a lot of so some of the the people many of the people who stop me on the streets they're like I love the business stuff but the things that really helped me out the most have been some of the you know life view stuff and this is something that I've struggled a lot with sharing mostly because I have pretty like wild views I think compared to most and it's also the thing that I get the most heat for. So, it's kind of one of these double-edged swords where it's like it's the thing that helps the most people the most, but it's also the thing that I get. Um, basically, it adds overhead to my life for not any specific benefit for me. Um, but this was one that I thought was worth the cost. And so, I figured I would share it with you. So, I've been thinking a lot about like happiness um versus joy and pleasure and things like that. And one of the difficulties with um happiness is kind of like defining it, right? If you talk to a bunch of different people, they'll give you different definitions. And I'm not going to go into a behavioral definition, but I want to give you a real world thing that I think has been helpful for me. And so if we think um it's hard to say what, you know, what does a happy person look like? Um besides like like they smile or they have a good tone, but then so many people who see someone who like commits suicide, they're like I can't believe that like they seem so happy, so upbeat. So it's like were they really happy or are those just physical appearances that people portray uh when they are sad or it's independent of how they feel inside? And so then I thought okay well what is a what is a a measure that we are confident in that is the opposite of that. Well can we recognize people who are unhappy? Yes. So people who want to you know uh kill themselves are typically not happy. And so I think hopefully that's even though people don't like talking about death um I think that that's like and hopefully we can agree on that like people who choose to take their own lives are usually not happy. So I was thinking about this and I was like okay so this one is much easier to find than happy. And I was like, "All right, well then what is the opposite of not wanting to kill yourself?" And so I thought, "Okay, well then how badly do you want to not die?" Said differently, how how much do you want to live? Um, which you could also measure in terms of your aversion to death. So on 10 out of 10, you're like, I hope, you know, I'm I'm actively planning to take my own life. And then steps above that, you're like, if I die tomorrow, I won't be upset about it. And I'm I'm walking you through this because like I know this is stuff that people don't like talking about. Um and maybe I shouldn't talk about this, but I'm just telling you stuff that has helped me and it's like actually given me a really good internal barometer. Um and I would say that the lowest point I personally have ever gotten is like if I wake up to like wake up tomorrow, I won't I don't wake up tomorrow, I won't care. Um which is like in my most down times I was like it just like the pressure of the world was just like it felt like it was too much. Obviously it wasn't true, but it was like a lie that you know I told myself in that time period. Um, but I was like, if I don't wake up tomorrow, sometimes you're driving, you're like, I could just go in this other lane, right? Like you have some of these thoughts that are not as positive as you'd want them to be. Um, and I think someone recently asked me like, "Are you happy?" And I think the answer that I had at the time was like, "I am the most averse to dying that I've ever been. Um, I really would like to remain living. Um, I very strongly want to stay alive." Um, and I see that I was like, "Okay, well, if we know what unhappy is, and maybe the opposite of that is definitely wanting to be alive, then it might give us a more uh simple way to measure ourselves." And I say this because I think we all on some level understand that pleasure is fleeting. Joy or, you know, like, you know, being happy momentarily, you know, you win the lottery. I'm just making that up. But like, you know, you get a hug from somebody, whatever it is, like you you have these moments uh that are nice, but um what is interesting is that when we look at subjectable wellbeing or happiness across different uh populations across the world, um people actually across different cultures define happiness differently. So some of the countries where people have the highest ratings for happiness just actually define it differently. So it's more just like satisfaction and contentedness more than it is uh like gleeful. And so, um, in all of these different versions of happiness, I have used this or I'm using this new razor of how badly do I want to live as a 1 to 10 simple scale for me. So, I'm uh uh 10 out of 10, you are actively trying not to live tomorrow versus 10 out of 10, you're trying to actively stay alive as much as you can. Um, and I think when you try to solve for that, it actually makes solving it far more concrete. So said differently, like what are all the things or contingencies that I could install in my environment that would make it so that I want to live tomorrow? Is there work that I find interesting? Are there people that if I were to die, like if I if I that I wouldn't be able to see tomorrow that I want to see? And so it's really trying to install these different contingencies in your life that then make you want to get to tomorrow and maybe the next week or the next month or the next year. And this is where I think sometimes having, to be fair, work gets a lot of poo poo, but I think having meaningful projects that you get to work on for extended periods of time because they make an impact that you find meaningful um are really really helpful endeavors in terms of like jacking up that that rating, that score of going from call it negative 10 to positive 10 um on that. And so I know this is a little bit heavy headd excuse me. Um and maybe a little bit deeper than some of my normal business stuff, but if we're being real, um I think the I think most entrepreneurs struggle with the other stuff, not necessarily the tactics. I mean, the tactics are great. I'm happy to talk about them. Um but it's the between the tactics. It's between the moments. It's when you're at home at night and you're everyone else is asleep and you're just looking up at the, you know, the ceiling or you're closing your eyes and you're like, you know, or you get back home or you're sitting in the driveway of the, you know, when when you park your car before you go inside for that that quick moment. We were like, man, that was uh that was a lot. And there has to be some level of worthidness in tomorrow for you to look forward to going through the onslaught again. And so I think that for those of you who uh wanted a different definition, um that is one that is that I'm I'm working on that has been really helpful for me. If your definition is working for you, love that for you. Keep rocking. Um but this is one that I've been really thinking about. And I'll be honest with you, the fact that I have a son that's coming has increased my quotion for wanting to stay alive. Um and so I went from already really wanting to stay alive to wanting to stay alive even more. Um, so plus one for for kids category before kids have even shown up. So hopefully that uh I don't know hopefully that provides something for you and then uh I think we'll survey says on on preontas which is espanol for questions for those of you who are new and don't speak espanol. Uh sir China okay we will do the wheel of business. says, "No, no, please." As my lovely assistant, China will be joining us. Um, and he's going to be spinning our wheel of Wheel of Mosy. It's ridiculous. >> That's a Alex. >> Yeah, that is a meme that the team made of me. So, fun stuff. All right, let's go. What are we talking about today? What are the questions? >> Drum roll, please. >> All right, we're going with Is it really? It's Super Alex Wildard. Um, okay. Um, [ __ ] What is a good one for today? Honestly, I'm on the theme of life and death, which is nothing to do with business. Um, but that's the mood that I'm in right now. I just wrote a whole presentation on Dolly Parton, uh, which you guys will see because we're going to upload that in the next few days. Um, that it's just been really top of mind for me, uh, because I really have a lot of admiration for her and the brand she built. Um, it just hurt her as a human being. And so I think that's why I'm in this slightly more uh, you know, deep thinking state. Um, but yeah, I mean, obviously if any guys have money questions, go for it. Um, but we could talk about life and deep [ __ ] All right. Um, lucky camera straps. Uh, love this topic. Do you think if there were truly an objective measurement for happiness and humility and wealth would become far less important in our society? 100%. A thousand%. I think that uh humans like to compete u at anything that is quantifiable and the more quantifiable it is the easier it's like basically the it's more that the ease of which we can measure ourselves against others and create status like we play status games not happiness games and that's what people compete against and I think that that is also partially driven by kind of the evolutionary push of procreation which is that we want to compete against other people and that's just intrinsic to who we are Um, but people don't really compete um on happiness in in a way that anyone's ever been able to figure out, but I think if we were able to quantify happiness, that would be awesome. Um, we'd have to define it first. So, yeah. Cool. Uh, Trent Tour, how do you overcome the feeling of hopelessness? Really good question, man. Um, I have felt hopeless at different times in my career. The thing that got me through that, um, was two very different things. So one was a very deep conviction that as long as I continued focusing only on the task in front of me and functionally distracted myself with the work that as long as I did not stop I would eventually get through it. So that was a belief that I had that was a worldview that I had. The second thing with hopelessness is understanding where it comes from. And so hopelessness is a perceived lack of options. It means you don't know what to do. And so if you don't know what to do then you have to solve that first which then gives you something to do. And if you are in that space if you don't know what to do you need to build capacity. And so capacity you have physical capacity which means like go to sleep earlier get more sleep. Uh it means working out so you can get in shape. It means saving money so you can get offensive. It means making content so you can build an audience. It's doing all the steps beforehand so you can prepare the way for when opportunities come. And so the people who are able to maximize opportunities are the ones who are prepared for those opportunities. And so there's never like there was no reason to not know what to do because whenever you don't know what to do, what you do is you build capacity. You basically dig the well before you're thirsty. And so if you're not sure, then get digging. All right. Uh Josh Oalli, hey Alex, do you think you would ever pursue philosophy at some time in your life? Maybe write a book on it. I think that if I uh I do have like a draft of a book that's kind of like my you know my opus if you will um that I continue to contribute to um I don't think philosophy is something that you can like pursue. I think you have to like do other stuff. I mean of course there's like professors of philosophy I guess but you know it's kind of like Warren Buffett talked about this where like there's no wealthy economists and so if someone's in an ivory tower they're typically very disconnected from reality. And so I think the best economists are the best investors um because they're the ones who are actually grounded in reality. And uh Warren Buffett tells the story of uh Kees who's one of the best uh economists or what most known economists. Uh he tried to do investing based on his economic principles and failed miserably and then eventually figured out what kind of Ben Graham and then eventually Warren Buffett did which is like buy good companies at a fair price and then he ended up making a decent amount of money. Um and so I think that uh if you are going to be in philosophy then it really just means that you are so if you break down the word philosophy means lover of wisdom. Um and I think you cannot be wise without living in the world. So I think that the best philosophy should come from people who are in it who are practitioners of reality. Um Elias how differently do you think about death now compared to 10 or 20 years ago? Um I actually don't think my views on death have really changed very much. Um I would say that I have a relatively simplistic view on death. Um which is number one no one knows but number two uh the only thing that I can compare it to is when I have not been alive before which all of us watch you know here right now have been not alive for the vast majority of time. Uh, and so in the whatever 11 billion years of the universe or whatever it is, um, we were not alive for all 11 billion years except for the 100-ish years that whoever's watching this is in. Um, and so for the rest of the time that I was not alive, um, things were fine. And so I presume that when I'm not alive again, it'll be the way it was when I wasn't alive before. So that is that's my view. And I think a lot of people disagree with that. And that that's okay. Like totally fine. I because point one, no one knows. Um, but that is my that is my best bad guess and I'm super super open to being wrong. So, the most open. Um, and for the the guy who asked the question about hopelessness, um, I'll just share this with you. Like, hard times don't last. Hard people do. [ __ ] I was having a moment. I'll say that again. Uh hard times don't last. Hard people do. You will survive. Like you will get through it. And one of the interesting things about like the human body is as long as you have food and you sleep and you have some sort of water uh and you breathe air, it kind of keeps living. And so even though sometimes you feel like you're going to die, it's very different than actually going to die. Um and so a lot of times um you just have to get through it. And your moods are a lot more like the weather uh than they are like concrete, which is that they change. Uh and sometimes it only takes a few minutes, a few hours, rarely more than a day uh for your entire mood to change. And so I've had enough bad moods in my life to be like this too shall pass. And in my mind's eye, I just see it as like a cloudy day. And I'm like, I know there's sunshine behind it because moods are always like this. And as long as I don't take drastic action when I'm feeling bad, um, I'm not going to mess up tomorrow. Uh, Royal Prince Dalton, scale my family hobby farm so I can live on a farm. Cool. Uh, just pasture raised eggs. What do you think the best way to go about selling them is? Um, I think you have to sell a lot of eggs to I mean, it depends on what your lifestyle is, but if you already own the farm, then you just need to make enough. I guess it really dep again it depends on on how much money you need to live if you have like you know chickens that lay eggs and you've got cows that you can milk uh and so you've got you know two or three good calorie sources and you know maybe some wheat that you can make bread of or something you probably can live for pretty cheap. Um but eggs are probably going to get sold obviously you can go to a farmers market where people buy eggs. People don't really ship eggs online. People almost exclusively buy them in person. So, you're going to have to ship them to grocery stores that sell them as distributors for you, or you're going to have to sell them at kind of farmers markets. I have yet to see someone else who sells eggs in a different way. Unless you want to go totally, you know, new school and say like, I'm going to process them and add flavors and make egg whites and then try to penetrate the market with a product that's slightly unique and a more manufactured version of eggs. But if you're just selling like eggs and shells, eggs are quite literally a commodity. Um, and so you just have to sell them in the cheapest way possible, which is typically typically to the people closest to you. Uh, Marcel agency, what truth about death has changed you how you live and take action uh, you think more ambitious more ambitious people need to hear? I think it's more of a constant reminder that you are going to die. Um, and so I'll tell you something that I've been thinking a lot about, which is I've been thinking a lot about alligators. So let me explain. So alligators um was from time I was really young my favorite animal which is super random. Um but like I asked Santa Claus for an alligator for Christmas when I was like six. Uh I know this cuz my parents told me. Um but one of the interesting tidbits about alligators besides the fact that they're 250 million years old. So they're basically like dinosaurs um or a little older than dinosaurs. Uh so they are exceptional at surviving compared to you know compared to us. They're super super super old. and way more effective at survival. And what's interesting about crocodiles and the one of the oldest of all time goats, which is the shark, which is 450 million years old, is they're basically just a big ass jaws with a straight line behind them, right? Um, and they can exist in a number of very different environments. Now, what's unique about alligators and crocodiles specifically is that they usually eat like every month or two months. Think how crazy it is. They so we see these you know Discovery Channel they like eat they eat something um we see the attacks but the vast majority of their life and this is what I was thinking about is okay so if you ate every month or two months you ate and let's assume that you have a mating season that happens once a year okay what do you do the rest of the time and so the answer for alligators is that they're endothermic so they don't they don't uh have their own internal like heat so they have to manage their body temperature and so They basically just bake in the sun in the morning and then they cool off in the afternoon and they basically go back and forth between those two things to manage the temperature, but they more or less chill. And so I thought a lot about that because I was like a lot of us here we are humans just being like what do we do with our lives when these alligators just chill basically 247 and expend as few calories as humanly possible and they just basically wait with their snouts out of the water hoping that someone walks in front of them so they can just snatch them and that's it. And so, um, I think about that a lot when I think about how, uh, if something is like stressing me out or I'm like, "Oh, this thing's really important." I think like there's an alligator that hasn't eaten in four weeks and it's not a big deal and he's been doing nothing but chilling in the sun and in the water all day and they've been out living humans. So, one man's weird perspective. Uh, where do beginners begin? By creating capacity. So, that is basically learn the habits of work. So, go to sleep early. Uh, get a full night's sleep. Um, work out so that you can, you know, get in shape when you're younger if you can do it because like it's much easier to stay in shape than is to get in shape. And if you're not sure what to do, it's a good time to do it. Um, and I think the vast majority of the rest of your time is going to be learning. Now, what's interesting is that there's first-hand learning and secondhand learning. When you haven't done anything yet, you can't really have firstparty knowledge. Um, so you do a lot of second-party knowledge. So, like you're listening to my stuff, so I can say, "Hey, let me give you this experience so that you don't have to spend all this time." And so functionally, you're trying to get a good return on time. So it's like if I can show you how to sell in eight hours and it doesn't take you eight months, then it's a good return on time. Um, but at the most basic level, you need to let people know about your stuff. Um, and then the stuff being usually if you're starting out a service or something that you can do for them that they don't want to do, uh, they don't have time to do or they don't have the knowledge to do, right? And so those are kind of the three types of services that it starts out. So they don't know how to do it, they don't want to do it, or they don't have time to do it. And so those are the three categories. pick the one that you want and then do that for somebody else in exchange for money. Um, and that's basically all you have to do to start a business. And I would encourage you, especially if you're starting out, to start a business like that because it's the highest cash flow because it's you trading time for money. Um, and you'll learn a lot of core skills. And I would just completely ignore the people who tell you don't trade time for money. Everyone trades time for money. Let me prove it to you. Uh, you expend seconds of life, every second you're alive, and you receive money over that time period. So, you have time that goes out and money that comes in. And so it's just that over time you don't want to necessarily denote your pricing in hourly rates, but you actually might spend five hours on a client's project that you sold for a thousand bucks, right? And ideally, you want to sell it towards the goal of the customer, not to get too advanced, but at the most basic level, let them know about your [ __ ] Usually, it's going to be something they don't want to do, don't have time to do, or don't know how to do. Do one of those three things for them in exchange for money, and then do it as many times as you can until you don't want any more time. And then at that point, you probably misprice, which means you probably need to raise your price. Then when you raise your price, you'll make more money. And then you can use that extra money to go get help and start scaling cars and burgers. How do you stay away from the allure of things that come with come with popular? Uh there we go. Uh how do you sorry here? How do you stay away from the allure of the things that come with being popular like going to UFC events, going to sporting events, giving TV interviews, attending parties, hanging with celebrities, etc. Um, I think that you have to in order for I reject the premise because I don't find those things alluring. And so, um, I like the life that I have. Um, if those were things that were alluring to me, then I would do more of them. Uh, they just aren't. Um, I'll share something that Palmer Lucky said that I I tend to resonate with, which is like the type of person who makes a billion dollars is also the type of person that never enjoys a billion dollars. Uh, drinking my ties on the beach. He said it's very rare of all the billion dollar guys he knows. Um, there's something different about the way that they operate in the world. Not necessarily it's better or worse. It's just different. Um, and so the type of person who says, "Man, if I had a billion dollars, why would I keep working? I would, you know, I'd be drinking pin coladas." Is usually that type of worldview and character trait is not one that is conducive to making a billion dollars. Um, so to answer your question, um, I don't find those things alluring. So it doesn't take me any effort whatsoever to not do them. That's the honest truth. So what happens when you die? They divide up your [ __ ] They summarize your life in 500 to a,000 words. People who knew you less say sorry to people who knew you more. Everyone eats. They drive home. And they wake up the next day and go to work. So, whatever you're worried about won't be in those 500 words. I can promise you that. You can dare greatly or not at all, but you're going to die either way. So, you might as well go for it. So, Ivan, I saw you yesterday, my friend. If the lonely chapter becomes the theme of the book, how do you know when it's enough? How do you know? So, okay. If the lonely chapter becomes the theme of the book, how do you know when it's enough? How do you get out of it? What if you get used and never get to the end of it? So, what's difficult about the early part of entrepreneurship is that you basically have to prove that you want what you want enough to get through it. It's like a it's like a it's like a it's like a ritual. It's like a right of passage. You have to take certain pain for an uncertain time period with an uncertain payoff. And this is why so many people talk about getting married to the process because if you get married to the process, then the certain pain that you're experiencing goes down dramatically because it's no longer this certain pain. It's something that you're fascinated or interested by and then passes the time. And then when you do start to get interested in something, you tend to get good at it. When you get good at it, all of a sudden you're out of the lonely chapter. And so a lot of the lonely chapter is marred by uncertainty because you don't know what you're doing and you don't know where you're going, but you do know where you're going away from. And so I would say use what you have and do not judge the fuel you use or where you're running away from because many people will try to make you feel bad about like, hey, you shouldn't feel, you know, don't use your anger or don't, you know, use your sadness or frustration or shame or whatever the thing that you're using. I would say use whatever the [ __ ] you got um to get to where you're trying to go and expect it to take longer and be harder um than you want it to. But the answer of like how do I know it's going to be over? You don't. But you can measure progress, right? And so at the very basic level, you should be able to explain because I'm assuming you're an entrepreneur like how does this business grow? Until you can articulate that, then you don't have a map of what you need to do, right? So it's like you got to let people know about your [ __ ] You got to get them to give you money for it and you got to deliver it to them. That's basically it. And so if you're doing just at the basic level, then it's like, okay, well, once I have those three things, then I got to let more people know about it and then eventually I'll raise my prices because I better at getting them to give me money and I'll be able to get them to give me more money because I deliver better because I've gotten practice. And so it's usually typically the feeling that you have is because you're actually in a rush. And the rush is what is crushing your motivation because you are constantly measuring yourself against other people who you feel like worked less hard or not as long as you are right now. Um but that's not true. You just didn't see it. Elias Kong, did you come up with logic evidence utility? It has changed my life. How do you actually use it in conversation though without sounding uh harsh or emotionless or do you just accept that? Uh my uh my friend Dr. Trevor Cashy was the one who um outline logic evidence utility which said differently is uh what does that mean? How do you know that? And so what or why should I care? Um I'm glad has changed your life. It is a wonderful way of trying to make sense of the gobbledygook that people shout at you with their uh their vocal cords when they make noise at you with the intention of trying to change your behavior. Uh so how do I use it in conversations? Typically I'm not going to say all three at once. I'll just say like, "Hey, what does that mean?" Right? Then they'll answer and I'll be like, "Huh? Well, how do you know that?" And then they'll answer and I'm like, "Huh? So why why does that matter for us today or why is that important for us right now?" Right? So I don't think it has to sound harsh or emotionless. Um I think you just ask the questions. I don't know. Uh so I guess the answer is I just accept it. Um but it's just it's most people have no idea what they're saying and I think once you understand that you realize that like most people are not worth listening to. Um, and so sometimes what's interesting is that someone will say like, "What does that mean, Alex?" And they try to like like catch me up and it's like, "Dude, I'll happily define any terms that I use because I know what I'm saying." Um, and that I don't that sounded that sounded arrogant. I didn't mean it like that. It's more like if you are conscious of the words you're using and you define the words you use, then when you are talking, you will speak with more clarity. And so when people ask, you know, like, "Hey, how do you speak with clarity?" It starts with knowing the words that you're saying. It sounds silly, but most people don't actually know or understand or have defined the words they're saying. And so they string multiple words together that they don't understand. And then they expect the other person to somehow guess what they mean when they themselves don't know what they mean. And so this is why the vast majority of people miscommunicate. Um, and so it's person A makes noise at person B, person B makes noise back, both people go away and nothing, no information was exchanged because neither of them knew what the hell was going on. And I think this is most humans. Um, and this is the concept of signal versus noise is that most people just make noise at each other. there's that very very little signal. Um now when you do find a high signal source, it's unbelievably refreshing and you probably become friends. So um in the spirit of this deeper life live stream, it's a live stream because we're living. It's not a death stream. It's a live stream. Right? That's the theme of today. Living living streams u streams of life. Maybe we'll go a stream of life actively live. All right, I'm done with that. So ask the girl, shoot the shot, launch the business, run the ad, quit the job, take the risk. When you're 85 years old and you're on your deathbed, you're not going to wish you had fus you're not going to wish you had fewer crazy stories. So hear me out. Whenever I'm going through a tougher time, I have a lot of different coping mechanisms that I've developed over the years. And one of the strongest one is just the story frame, which is that I know I'm going to tell this story throughout the rest of my life. And especially when I'm in my 70s and 80s and I'm recanting my life back either just to myself through memory or to other people and I'm going to remember this moment because of how hard it was. And so the harder the period you're going through, the bigger the dragon you have to slay, the more memorable the story. Taylor Sheridan, who's one of the best, you know, screen screenwriters right now, he he did Yellowstone, um the Madison, if you've seen that. um uh Dutton Ranch, he's got a bunch of like hit shows right now. He was asked, "How do you come up with a story?" And he paused for a second. He said, "I start with the conflict." And I think that's really really interesting. It's like, "So, what makes a great story?" It's the conflict. It's the hard part that you're going through. And the harder it is and the higher the stakes, the better the story. And so, the more [ __ ] sucks for you right now, the better it will be when you tell the story that you actually got through it. And that frame has gotten me through a lot of really tough times because I just believed I wasn't going to die and I also knew I wasn't going to stop for what it's worth. Uh Jordan, okay, so Alex, you mentioned that you have ADHD tendencies openly. Was it a journey to frame this positively or do you not even think about it? I don't even think about it, not even once. I think that people add, let me let me put it this way, and I'm sure this will I'm sure check with your medical professionals, add whatever disclaimer you want that makes you feel good. If you like the way you live your life, then please just keep living it that way. If for whatever reason you don't like the way that you live your life, I have a view that people have a lot of brain differences. And so if we use what we can see with our eyes, think about height, think about race, think about gender, there's a lot of differences, a lot of different people, a lot of different looks, and no one's like, "Oh, it's wrong to be tall or it's wrong to be short or it's wrong to be, you know, I'm not even going to get into race, but it's wrong to be whatever color you want, right?" I think the same level of diversity, if not greater, exists within our brains. And just because things are different does not mean that they are worse. And so I define the vast majority of utility or meaning for me based on what it actually affects about my life. And so if someone says, "Hey, I have a shorter attention span, but then I have periods where I have intense focus." Then I would say, "Okay, so sometimes you're focused, sometimes you're not." All right, fine. Does that somehow prevent you from doing what you need to do? Not really. Okay, so who cares? And so, um, I say this because my mother had, um, by her definition, severe ADD, um, and I think that I have her her processing brain power like between my mom and my dad, I'm much more similar to my mom, uh, from that perspective. And she was heavily medicated on for that stuff. And she always saw it as a handicap and I always saw it as a superpower, but it was the same thing. And so, I think that the labels that we give ourselves are in some ways the things that matter the most. And that's why I'm very selective about the words that I use. Um, and I am statements like I am this. Like I don't even like saying like I am ADD or I have, right? Because it's these things that you carry with you. Um, that's why it's saying like I express these tendencies, I do these behaviors. Um, and I don't necessarily ascribe a good or bad label on it. It's just an observation of reality. Because could you imagine somebody who had who behaves one way and is better um better fit for a certain type of business or opportunity? probably and probably in a different business or opportunity, a different personality type or or behavior set is better suited. And so to say that one is right and one is wrong feels ridiculous. And if you were to say it even differently, this is what the majority people have and you are not the majority. Did you ever really want to be average? It's like saying this guy's 6'5, that's not what normally people are, uh, you know, that's not the nor that's not a normal height. Think about that for a second. This guy's 6'5, that's not a normal height. Is that bad? And so I think that is at the most basic level explains the vast majority, not all, but the vast majority of the intellectual discrepancies or differences that we have is that we're just different, not better or worse. And differences then also lead to different advantages in different environments. And so you just got to learn the the game that's suited best suited to you. And you only do that by doing a lot of [ __ ] and figuring out what you're good at. Uh Mustafa Mustafa, uh Alex, I run a math tutoring company. It's maths, which we know is an Aussie. Oi. Oi, brother. Uh, run a maths maths maths tutoring company. I can't do it. Um, I got a lot of clients inquiring for subjects. Should I expand or niche down on maths? Um, it depends if you're local uh or if you're uh online. I would say if you're local, I'd be more open to expanding to other subjects. If it's just as easy to get those subject teachers um and it's just as quantifiable in terms of the process of teaching it. If you're online, then you should have no lack of getting customers who struggle with math. Uh and the reason that I have a difference there is that when like I have some differences in rules for local businesses, for example, uh you know, one channel all the way up to a million. I don't I keep that for all other businesses with the exception of local because if you're in a market that has 5,000 people in it like you need to use everything you possibly can to let people know about your stuff. Um otherwise you're going to go out of business. And so to the same degree if you're in a local market you're constrained with demand then you do have to um increase LTV and then and the percentage of customers. Basically that increases the number of cross sales and increases the percentage of customers that you can actually sell. Um so hopefully that helps in terms of explaining. If you are national say say focused stay niched. If you are local for your specific business if it doesn't create too much operational drag I would be open to it. Growth is stressful stagnation is stressful. Decline is stressful. The only 100% stress-free people are dead people. Keep living. And so since this is a live stream, um that is the theme of today is that if you hope to be stress free, you're hoping for your own demise because all we can see it as is an indication indication that we are still beating. We are still living. We are still thriving. We still have fight left in us because you still have breath in you. And so I would say that if you are going through it, keep on going. Austin Willis, do you feel like defining your reality makes you more in control of it? Question is inspired from your tendency to define words labels into what sounds more trouble. So I think you use the word controllable. Um, and I would just say that I try to define the things around me so that I know what I'm talking about and so that I can better navigate them. So it's less about controlling it. But like let's say, let me give you a different example. Let's say um I said here's a monster in front of you. Monsters are very scary, but that's because I gave it a label. If I said it was your mother-in-law, that would be very different. If I said it was a dragon, that would be very different. If I said it was um, you know, the abominable snowman and he was afraid of fire, then you'd be able to combat it differently. And so, I use concrete words to try and describe my environment so that I can make my actions yield outcomes that are more likely aligned with where I'm trying to go. And so I think a lot of people wander their way through life basically just doing a whole bunch of random stuff um because they don't actually see what is in front of them accurately. And so they don't get what they want despite trying very hard. And so if I try really hard and I have a model of how I think reality is going to work and it doesn't pan out, then I like to examine what variables did I misunderstand so that I can better I can do better next time. And so I think this process and the reason I act this way is and I probably if you look at some of my older stuff versus now is I behave more this way is because it has served me well. And so the more I tend to define things, the clearer I am about what is going to work and what is not going to work, the more things tend to work despite the fact that it makes me sound like a [ __ ] robot. Um but it really is just a a pure striving for truth um and clarity of thinking. Allan, have you struggled with self-sabotage? If so, how do you overcome it? So, I would have to define self-sabotage before I could answer that question. Um, but I would imagine self-sabotage is doing actions that are not in accordance with your goals or have low likelihood um of helping you achieve what you want. Um, which I'll give you a different way of thinking about it, which is that you misbehave. So, there's a certain set of actions that you know you should do and then there's other actions that you want to do. And usually the way to decrease your self-sabotaging or misbehaving is to change the environment. So if you are trying not to be a heroin addict, it's probably not good to go to a heroin den. Um if you're trying not to drink alcohol, don't go to a bar, right? And so sometimes that means changing friends. It might means changing cities. It might means changing roommates. It might mean um getting rid of things in your home. It might mean getting rid of alcohol. Might be rid of, you know, maybe put a you you know, put a app on your phone that blocks your phone from social media. um you want to lubricate the path to to doing the things you want and you want to put lots of friction in the way of doing the things that you don't want. And if you can just do those basic two things, like I don't actually expend a huge amount of willpower every day. Um because over time I've just put things in place that make it really hard for me to do the wrong thing. And so the most basic answer that I can give you is that in order to get yourself to do what you want to not self-sabotage, you need to make the correct choice. The easiest choice. Pickle Fox skills. Hey, Alex, how long did it take that hair to grow? No idea. I just haven't cut it. I probably need to cut it. Um, one of the things that no one tells you about delayed gratification is that once you learn how to do it, you keep doing it until you die and then what you delayed never happens. And so this is the fallacy of the third marshmallow. So everyone knows the story of, you know, they gave kids the option of one marshmallow now or two marshmallows in 30 minutes. And the kids that made it to 30 minutes uh ended up being more successful. So it was a great microcosm example of um delayed gratification. But when you start changing the variables and let's say you get a third marshmallow if they wait for a year. Is that really worth it? Or maybe they get a a third marshmallow if they wait 40 years. Is that worth it? No. But the problem is that once you learn how to delay gratification, you assume that all delayed gratification is correct? When in reality, you actually want to maximize gratification per unit of time just looked over a a global period of your life, your entire lifetime. And so when you think about that, it's actually an optimization issue um more than anything else. Which means that um as all uh worthwhile skills in life, it is not an extreme. It is actually walking the balance between two tensions of wanting to use things now and wanting to you know rather wanting to consume now and wanting to invest for later. Um but the magic is really in the middle kind of by holding the tension between these two extremes and these two poles. And I think that is something that like wisdom and self-awareness um which is basically just pattern recognition over time of you trying uh to consume a little too soon. Um but also on the flip side, I'll give you a story. When I was um I think 11 or 10 years old, I was I really I think it was when X-Men came out. The Cyclops had these orange glasses uh these Oakley glasses and I remember thinking that they were like the coolest thing in the entire world. And I asked my uh mom, I was like, "Can I get those glasses?" And she was like, "No." And she was like, "But you can work and save up money." And so um I remember saving up uh $100, which took me like I don't know, like eight weeks, you know, I mean, I'm doing like chores and stuff to save up $100. And I went to the store and we got the we got the orange glasses. And I remember caring about them so much because I thought they were so cool and I was so afraid of losing them or scratching them that I would like look at them and then I put them in the case and I would look at them and I put them in the case. And over time, you know, I I didn't put them on. And it was years later that I actually found those glasses when I was cleaning out my room. Um, and I had never actually worn them. And at the time, and when I by the time I cleared them out, me wearing orange glasses as like a 17-year-old probably wasn't going to be the look that I was going for. Um, and so I ended up never actually truly wearing them. And so it was this really interesting lesson for me where it's like it's good to delay gratification, but not forever. Um, and so I think that a lot of us have these moments. Once you've become an achiever, you like once you've tackled the first level of like I can, you know, I can I can save more than I spend. And some of the basics like I can count my calories and not not get fat and I can eat less than I than I expend through the day, right? I don't have to eat a cookie right now. Once you learn the basics of that, um, I'm not a baby. I can control what I put in my mouth. Um, then you at some point have to say, well, when is it worth having some ice cream, right? When is it worth uh, you know, like I went to I'll tell you another story. I went to France when I was a junior in college. Um, or between my sophomore and junior year, I did a legal internship in France. So, I was doing French to English business contract translation. Tons of fun. Um, but when I was there, I was like really into fitness. And this is embarrassing to say, but when I was in France in Paris, I didn't eat any croissants or any baguettes while I was there for the whole summer because I thought that carbs were bad. And think about how dumb that is. You know what I mean? Like it's one, you can always lose the weight later. I was so obsessive with, you know, being disciplined about these things that I I didn't imagine a world where I could like have a baguette and still like keep living my life um or just compensate with other food. And so um I do think there's obviously a very important role for delayed gratification, but you cannot delay it indefinitely because then what you delay you never get. Um clinic info system, what was your biggest surprise about yourself in business? um that you can always keep learning and the things that you think are your natural tendencies or skills are not written in concrete. Like you can change. Um I used to be a lot angrier uh internally in terms of how I ran the team. I used to punish a lot more. Um I used to rule more by fear. I still probably have some element of that today, but I used to used to be a lot worse. Um, and so I think, you know, you can change your stars, you can change your stripes. Um, and I think when I started seeing that and people started describing me differently than I thought of myself in my own head because of my own history, um, I started to believe it more. And so, basically, the more I did change, the more I believed I was capable of changing. And so now I see my skills or my labels for my skills, aka my identity or personality, as more fluid. Um because ultimately like you need to become who the business needs you to become to help the business get to where it needs to go. Bold lady. Hi Alex. I want to attract a lot of customers. The app and the app is about saving your time and capturing your idea fast. It's called Idea Gush. What is the best way to advertise it? I don't want to As somebody who would be a user of this app, something that's really important to know is that even if you have a novel idea, there can't be a cheap and readily available alternative that is good enough. And so if it's like, well, people can capture their voice, it's like you can have a voice note on your phone really easily. Um, or you can have a chat that you have open for your GPT that just keeps all of your ideas in one string. Um, you can email yourself, you can text yourself, you can slack yourself, like you can have a notes that you just open up if you want to type. Like there's the ease and the number of free solutions out there for this concept. Um, there's a lot of them. And also, I think monetizing this would be incredibly difficult because it's not super high value. So you'd have to be you'd have to have like this is a consumer app functionally. And so the way to advertise is make product that's really good that then goes viral functionally on um on B to like consumer word you know word of mouth like Uber um it has to be really good and get virality because the LTB is probably going to be so low and the price point to be so low that cost of acquisition from a paid perspective is going to be really tough. um getting influencers to promote this, it has to be super super novel. And a great rule of thumb that I think Elon has, which is like if you're going to get into a market to try and disrupt, which I'm hoping you are, you need a 10 times better product, which is usually just completely a new paradigm. Um, and so unless the thing is is like, you know, a hat that you wear that just captures your idea without you saying anything, which is unlikely. Um, I would say I'm not answering the question because I think that it might be worth reconsidering the business idea because I don't want you to start on something that if I had just known these things earlier on, I wouldn't have, you know, felt I wouldn't have gone down this path. So, I'm just trying to offer that. But hey, I've been wrong plenty of times before and maybe this will work out for you. Mattie boy, is there a specific time slcomplishment when joy comes into the equation for an entrepreneur? Um, I quit my 14 years job last week and lost my biggest client on day one. Okay. Um, is there a specific time or accomplishment when joy comes into the equation for an entrepreneur? I think you're asking is there ever a time when entrepreneurship is fun? And the answer is yeah. I actually think I think the beginning of stuff is actually the most fun. I t this is going to sound crazy. I tend to lose interest when things start making a lot of money. Um because it's like all the hard problems have been solved and now it's just doing like just more more and more. Um which is the correct business decision but like not like the most fun. And so this is why I tend to be more on the marketing front for businesses because I like the novelty. I like the stimulus. I like change. I like how media is constantly evolving. And uh like so I I put all of my call it creative energy into things that are that are changing rather than things that should be constants which is like the model, the pricing, the product. Now are they constant forever? No, of course not. But they need significantly less change than media and advertising do. Um and so the the the answer to the question is um yes, I think you can absolutely enjoy the process. I think right now you're just feeling stressed because you're starting out and you don't have any money coming in. But as soon as you do have money coming in, I think that you also can get accustomed to stress. Like, think about it like this. Do you remember when you were younger and like the things you were stressed about when you were five? Remember the things you were stressed about when you were 10 or 15 or 20? Think about like what the different things were at each of those stages, what you were stressed about. And if you were to go back in time and deal with that stress right now, it would be nothing, right? It's like not even an issue. And so there's a fiveyear from now version of you that'll look at your current moment and think this is just not a big deal. And if five years from now you can think that way, then there's no reason that present you can't think that way. So speaking of life and death, um at your funeral, friends and family are going to argue over who gets your belongings. People will talk about the food and the venue that your family chose. Your life is going to be summarized in two or three paragraphs. The conversations will eventually shift from your life to theirs. Your friends will drive away thinking about what's next on their to-do list. And some people won't be able to make it because something came up. And most of the people that you know today won't even be there. You're going to die. People will move on in weeks, not years. Do what you want. Be like the alligator. Langing. Do you think humans are narcissists for wanting to create a legacy because we want to be accepted and loved by people even after death? Um, there's a lot of terms there that we'd actually have to define to answer that question. So, it's like narcissists meaning like selfobsessed um for wanting to create a legacy. meaning if we're defining legacy as what? Um that we want people to like us after we're dead. I don't think humans are narcissists. I think people wish they could live forever and then use their work as a proxy for doing that. Maximillian Mak, you've said choosing your partner may be life's biggest decision. My girlfriend is my best friend, but she has bipolar disorder. How do you tell accepting hardship from ignoring a lifelong risk? Oh man, I don't want to deal with labels. Listen. Does she make you better? Do you make her better? Do you want to go to the same place? Do you want to get there the same way? If those things are true, then you have to realize that everybody everyone's got [ __ ] And I think marriage is a lot more about learning the lesson of commitment than anything else. And I think that's why it's so hard. Um, marriage is tough, you know, like there's it's funny cuz like getting married is easy, staying married is hard, right? It's like getting in shape is easy. Staying in shape is hard. Um even even, you know, building a business isn't that difficult, but staying in business is the hard part. That's the part you get claps for. Like no one's claps. I mean, some claps a little bit when someone gets married, but what we what we strive to have is a 50-year marriage, 60-year marriage, right? Uh you strive to be in shape your entire life. Like no one cares if you're in shape for six weeks or six months of your 80y year life, right? Um, and so I think that there's a great there's a great uh like sociologist or whatever who I saw this clip of him that I really liked. Um, you have to love the soul of the person that you want to be with because when they're, you know, fat and they're ugly and maybe they're in pain, so they're not as upbeat as they used to be. Um, because that will happen to all of us eventually. It's like if you still love their essence, um I think that's what you ultimately want. It's like if you can almost see past the veneer, then if you feel good at that level, then I think it's a good idea. If it's just like some surface level attraction and you have a lot of things that are not aligned and you don't like living the same way, don't have the same interest, don't have the same goals, then yeah, I think it'll be tough. Clemens, congratulations getting married tomorrow. Good luck. Uh Trent, which perspective do you think supported you as you do work in relation to time? I have an abundance of time. Let me just keep working or I don't have time so I must complete this. I actually don't I don't really think it using either of those. Um, I actually think more on return. So, it's more like what thing is going to move me the furthest forward of all the things in front of me, I'll do that and that's basically it. And anything that gets in the way of that is probably not as important. So, I don't do it. And it takes what it takes. And what really smart people can't handle is that getting rich has less to do with intellect and creativity and more to do with courage and perseverance. You have to take risk that other people won't work while other people wait and keep going when other people quit. It's a lot more about your character traits than it is your intellect. It's more about staying focused and being patient and continuing despite difficulty and having a high frustration tolerance, being able to get kicked in the nuts than it ever has been about who can add up math the fastest. Like, there are so many incredibly intelligent and lazy people because they had school come easy to them. And by the time they were adults, the behaviors of work ethic never formed. And so they were always and quickly surpassed by people who are willing to endure difficulty for extended periods because just because you can learn quickly doesn't mean you will learn the most if you spend so little time working. And I think you'd be amazed at the amount of time that most people waste doing nothing. And so like I by no means consider myself to be, you know, a supercomput brain. Um but I've been able to stick with things for really long periods of time. And I think that if you can just keep showing up every day and just try to move the ball forward, and this is why I'm such an advocate of like take the first four hours or first six hours of your day and just always move the ball forward and then just know that the rest of your day is going to be shot. But if every day you can get to the end of the day saying like this is what I did that moved the ball just a little bit forward, when you look up at 6 months or sometimes six years, uh you'll have moved across the world. Jake, do you ever battle with the morality of making money? It's something I myself battle with. I know I work for it, but something feels off. Um, honestly, zero. I have never had any morality issue with making money. Now, what you can take issue with is how you make the money. And I think everything there comes down at the most basic level. This is my the 8020 of making money morality is that it's about not misrepresenting. It's about not deceiving. which is why the first rule of ACU marketing is state the facts and tell the truth. And so, um, if you feel off about it, it's typically because you're misrepresenting something in some way, meaning you're promising too hard or you're pretending like you've done something that you haven't in order to gain authority. There's a hundred small ways that you can lie um that will make you feel bad about it. And so, I would encourage you to figure out what narrative would be the most compelling narrative and then make that narrative true and then tell that story. And I would say like that process that I just outlined is very much how I've lived my life is like what story do I want to tell and then reversing that story into reality real. But in terms of morality, no, I don't have any issue with like money is just it's just it's an IOU from society for future goods and services. It means you did something, you created a surplus for someone else and then we have a universal IOU that they give you that you can then trade. Like what is inherently bad about that? It was an exchange. It was voluntary. you didn't force them. And this is again voluntary exchange is the key part of capitalism which is why you know society gets better. But part of voluntary exchange is that you have to have um you want to have no deception which is why there's laws around this. And so if you say hey I will mow your lawn uh to this level of quality uh every day of the week or whatever you know every once once a month and the other person says sure and then you get money and then you mow the lawn. What wrong occurred here? Right. I don't know. And so I think at the basic level like some deception occurred and that's why you feel bad. Not because inherently making money is bad. Um I make music and I want to be cool and mysterious as that's the brand. Um should I just do that or volume? I think the Beatles the Beatles played like every night for like five years at like tiny ding bars to get good. Um I think Jerry Seinfeld did the same thing for standup comedy. I think that both there are elements of truth to both things that you said, but I think you're conflating sequence, which is like once you have a gigantic audience of people who love you, you can decrease the volume and then increase the quality and then drop. You can post and ghost, right? You can be Drake or whatever. Um, but in almost every one of those circumstances, there's a long period where you are where no one knows you exist, where you do a shitload of volume because you're not that good. And so the my TLDDR here is that you probably need to do a shitload of volume so you could be significantly better than you are. And the best news is that uh while you do that volume, you're probably not that good. And so no one's going to see you anyways. And so uh you will still appear as though you emerged out of nowhere. Because every person who discovers you, that's the first time that they ever see you. But the only way that they discover is you if they actually see you, which means you got to do more. Elias, what do you personally struggle with in your life right now? What are challenges? Uh you very much seem to have it all together. It' be interesting to hear your thoughts on current challenges. I got tons of challenges, man. Um, no, I have to my hip hurts. Um, my right eye is weak, uh, which is annoying. I have, uh, planer fasciitis, so my my foot hurts when I walk. Um, which has led to my gastro being, um, atrophied. Um, my left flat is more than my right lat. Um, these are some of my physical ailments. Um, in terms of, you know, life, um, I'm sure I could be a better husband than I am. Um, I'm hoping that I'll be a good father, but I don't know. We'll find out. Um, and I'm not going to find out for many years. So, we'll see. Um, and that's assuming you judge it based on some sort of external measure of of of a child, which is super tough because it's going to be outcome driven or is it going to be internal driven, which you also can't measure how happy the kid is. Um, right. So, not sure what's going to happen there. Um, I'd say business-wise things are pretty good. Um, but that hasn't been like a I mean things are like there's there's always [ __ ] you know what I mean? Like I have I always have whatever little legal bullshits that happen just because I have a big target and I have lots of people who who want to make fast cash. Um, I have to think what I want to make for content. You know, I have to think, ah, we got to change things. We can't always be the same. Um, we have people who work for me that I'm like, "Ah, they're they're slipping up and I have to have hard conversations." Like that's not fun. Um, there's plenty of things like I think I have um I'm working really I'm actually working really hard right now on being more upbeat. So that's something I'm thinking about um on trying which is why I was think about why I started this whole thing with happiness. I was like I desperately want to stay alive and I was like you know what I don't know if that's what people call happy. I was like, but I I feel that super hard. Um, I'm very interested in life. I have a lot of things that I would like to do and that I find fascinating and that I'm hyper engaged in. Um, and so I want to do more of that. And so, um, but no, man, like it's it's not like I'm 6'5 and, you know, 260 of all muscle and pain-free and, you know, um, you know, I've had I've had plenty of struggles, dude. And, um, I still I still do. Um, so yeah, hopefully that that helped. I don't know if that helps. Um, but the thing is is like think about those. I think I made a video um last week about this, but think about community. You've got relationship with your parents and siblings. I don't have any siblings and I have only one parent, so I only have one family member. Um, outside of Ila, obviously, uh, I only have one blood family member. How about that? Um, so I actually don't I don't have a lot of other variables in my life, and that's not because I chose that. I would love to have a gigantic family. I just don't have one. Um there's obviously business which is uh you know a thing. Um spiritually I think some people would consider me spiritually lacking. Um I I would say I I try not to think about it too much because I don't think there's a lot solved in introspection. Um and I think that you know therapy and a lot of these things not to say that they're bad but they are modern inventions. You know they're things that have happened in the last 50 to 70 years. And so I think you know most humans did without it. Not to say that they were better or worse, but things I think about. So, um, no man, uh, I'm good at business and I'm good at talking about business on camera, which is and I have receipts that back up the fact that I have a high level of skill in this particular domain. Um, and I'm decent at explaining things because I only focus on the things that I can see and hear. Um, and yeah, like I I definitely am no saint and I definitely have made plenty of mistakes and there's plenty of things that I regret. Um, and I take it one day at a time just like you. So anyways, appreciate you guys. Um, yeah, rock and roll. Love you all and I'll see you guys on the next stream of life. box.