Stop Comparing Your Chapter 1 to Someone's Chapter 10

I'm I'm reading one of the comments and I'm going to say it and I'm going to sound mean, but I I want it to resonate and you're anonymous, so no one knows it's you that I'm saying this to. But you said there's no such girls where I live. I will add on to that, that are attracted to you. There are absolutely girls where you live that are high quality girls. [music] You just have to be like you have to qualify. You have to meet the requirements. A girl like that has a lot of options. And so you need to be the best option, which means that you have to work on you. Got to get better. Got to get in shape. Make some money. Be a nice person. >> [music] >> Be interesting. Have other you know have other stuff going on. Like those like that is what a you know top tier girl will find interesting. [music] And I'll also add something that Layla said. I heard you say it on a live but I thought it was really good, which is like >> watch my content. >> Well, I mean I like it better than my content. >> [laughter] >> You said this thing I think to [music] to a girl who called in was like you know should I settle blah blah blah blah blah. Um and you said you guys are looking at Alex and I, so me talking is you, as we are today and think that is that is who we were when we met. >> Yeah. >> And that is not true. And so if you take the position that you are both going to get better, then [music] the relationship hopefully should also get better too. But both of you guys are going to grow and so to look at you know someone's chapter 10 versus your chapter one, it's just it's a it's not a good trade. And if you wait for somebody who's at chapter 10 and completely you know dialed in all these different arenas, guess what you're not going to be able to have? The story of the fact that that you know like Layla and I met when I had nothing and I got to lose everything with her and multiple times. And we have the story of overcoming that. And so when you meet in your imperfections, you give yourselves the opportunity for a more meaningful story and I never have to doubt is Layla just here for the money? Is Layla just here because I'm so incredibly good looking? Is Layla just [laughter] here for you know insert reason because the thing is is when we met, I didn't have those things. And and not only that, I also actively failed and moved backwards, I would say, in status for the first probably year or two of us dating, um, before moving forward. And so, you can have some confidence that the person, at least as a guy, you want a girl who believes in you and bets and sees in your potential and is like, "I'm willing to make this bet." And so, I think that I would look for somebody who has potential more than actual, because if you're starting out, too, you probably can't attract actual. >> [snorts] >> You have potential that's not actualized and they have potential that's not actualized and both of you make a bet that the person is growth-oriented. And that's why it's like, do you have aligned goals? Do we have aligned values? Like, how we want to get there, right? Do we want to go to the same place? Do we want to get there the same way?